My Mother Is An Unknown Stranger

Sometimes I wish that you would die
just so that I wouldn't cry
everytime I said your name,
knowing you're out there alive

It would be much eaiser to explain
And maybe, just maybe
the clouds that always rain
would cease to hover over me
long enough so I can see

You left me without warning
Since then I seem to be mourning
Though I don't remember much
You left when I was two
You barely kept in touch
I cried because of you

You've missed all my birthdays
I hoped that you would come
and not leave me alone
But not once did you stop back home
I cried myself to exhaustion
but once I saw a sign with caution
that said I won't be fine
I never listed to it cause I hoped that I just might

I wish I didn't cry
but all the time I seem to try
but I don't go anywhere
I guess I just don't care
I can't tell if you love me
I wish I could see your face
and if I had to, go to your place

You said you loved my father
but I guess you just didn't bother
to try and get us back
If you ever say it's okay, I'll promise that I'll ask
I'll even beg if I have to
That's how much I've missed you

I've hated you for so long
Though I always knew that I was wrong
because inside I've always loved you
I wish that you would say you love me too

It would be so much easier to lie
and say that you have died
to all the curious minds
Do you get I'll never be fine
I take back what I said
I don't wish that you were dead
I just wish you would be my mom
The pain is like an atomic bomb

I will ask
won't you please come back
I hope that one day
I can hear you say
that you'll love me forever and always
If I could only say one thing
that's what I'd say to you
I guerantee that to be true

I hope one day when you meet me
that you will finally see
just how much you truly mean to me