Goodbye Cruel World!

What's this purse here on the sand,
and why is this black dog licking my hand?
Oh my God, here's a suicide note,
what does it say, what have they wrote?

Goodbye cruel world, this is the end,
good riddance to man's so-called best friend.
Of all the things I'll miss you'll be the least,
adios and adieu you four-legged beast.
No more littering my lawn with your poop,
leaving your gooey presents on my front stoop.
You would not obey, you would not listen,
your dog pee made all my table legs glisten.
Remember when I brought home that handsome beau,
and by your retrieving actions you made him go?
You snuck into my closet you disloyal nipper,
and pulled out those pictures of me as a stripper.
You sleep during the day and bark all night,
the postman sued me after his leg you did bite.
You eat all the time and must constantly be fed,
all of the neighborhood dogs you have successfully bred.
Yesterday was the very last straw,
you are the cruelest dog I ever saw.
You killed Mrs. Snyder's cat and buried it in the thicket,
and then you ate my million dollar lottery ticket.
I can't take it any more and I will now drown,
upon my actions I guess you will frown.
But, that mutt has become an unbearable chore,
and I just can't stand living with this dog anymore.

P.S.) His name is Lucky, but as you can see,
he's been nothing but great misfortune to me.