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Blinded

One and only star in your galaxy

like Haley's comet to disappear;

a trail of green behind me,

floundering now in your indigo

sea of darkness,

one blinded and alone.

 

 

Author notes

Prompt.."The last meteor.....seems a bit dim". I have seen meteors come down from the sky...What a sight! ...A trail of green as they enter earth's atmosphere, and only God knows where they land!...This came to me as I used it as a metaphor for a relationship where at one time you could have been their one and only star, but like one that falls from the sky, your time is up and you fall. The other half is left to themselves in their own darkness...

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • who iam
    November 25
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    Edit | Reply
    Hidden between the words is the pain of a lost relationship whose 'flame'has burnt out.Sadness fills the void where the flame once was...
    Hopefully the one still standing is on her feet ready to move forward through the darkness to find a world of Light!
    Beautifully written with imagery from the heart.


  • wander of the sky
    November 16
    Edit | Reply
    this is very good


  • penman gold member
    November 13
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    A very terrific write. And so very creative for the prompt. Best of luck in the contest


  • Tania M Camargo
    November 5
    Edit | Reply

    I loved the metaphor. You know that there was
    thought about meteors?
    beautiful creation my dear!


  • The Drifter
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    You have painted a forlorn picture in my mind. Your words speak volumes. The color heightens the mood. The solo movement of one lost in dispair. So finely woven into a well written poem that flows on and on. Thank you for sharing.


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    Love your word usage within
    that paints the image into my mind sis
    beautifully discriptive

    Much love and good luck always

    Julie xx


  • crivanea silver member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    in the first line...I see quantity...in the second..you gave it a name...in the third /forth you gave me color..."floundering" I see style...in the last two..you give me reality....and juxtapose..how in a sea is the waterdrop alone?...very nicely done..


  • awannabepoet
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    Nice work Rose, seems like a meteor would be just the right kind of thing these days.


  • ZachP silver member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful and creative take on the prompt!
    Well done with your vivid imagery. I enjoyed!
    May God richly bless you.

    Zach Estel.

  • Bob Fox
    November 3

    Edit | Reply

    Rose

    In our days of dark and forlorn times perhaps a little light from above can bring a sparkle to our eyes. Lets not hope though that they hit us on the head. lol Nicely penned.


  • maktub
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    no, not fall...just move to a different area of God's creation. But I know, it feels like falling....


  • mgmc gold member
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice interpretation! Great images and I love the colors used! Nice write!

1 - 12 of 12