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Inconsiderate

Going through the day wondering if you actually listen
Ever thought of how much I put into us and our home
Today I leave you just one little note to fold the clothes...
                                                  {Clever - throw them on the bed...}

Over doing it with the cleaning; who else is going to bother
For fucksake do you realise how I sound like your mother!!
Fed up of you taking me for granted ... you have it so easy boy

You know I would give anything for you and me to go down the gym
Often I have suggested that we can go and enjoy a leisurely swim
Un-comfortable with your body or are you actually too damn lazy?!
Restless nights sleep as you're beside me snoring...

Another head full of thoughts wondering what I have to do in the morning
Rapidly hating your brainless disgusting habits...
Suddenly realising as I look at you; why I am being turned off..
Empty headed; your blind to all of it ... get off the X-box 

                                                            {maybe you'll see it!}

 

 









 

Author notes

(AA!)

a fresh write for ya...

Yes I the bad side to living with your partner... well... in three months you wouldn't believe just how annoyed I am.....

In a list

A contest entry

yay or nay??

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • amnouup
    November 11

    Edit | Reply

    Very fine

    Its a very fine acrostic with a very nice flow, everyday life sucks, guys are like this, very resistant to change... lol
    best wishes,
    Mou


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    I love acrostics, youn know it.
    And this one is a funny in terms of its message as most.

    He threw the clothes on the bed?
    Your first word in this acrostic flowed really well. And again, I love the asides.

    The first two line sof the second stanza make me chuckle. The rhyme seems natural and easy here. And then the final line reinforceing what you said...following
    'I sound like your mother!!'
    With
    'you have it so easy boy'
    More to make me laugh.

    I think there are more important things in life than going to the Gym, and maybe he thinks so too. Ok, you want him to be healthy, but is that the true intention, or is it more than you're afraid you won't love him anymore if he's 'fat', kind of like you feel the same about yourself.
    Or is it an excuse so you can work out without being obsessive about it. If he's doing it too then it's 'allowed', right?

    Loved the last line... Get Off the x-box!
    He won't see it at all, despite what you say in your last line... But maybe that's his way of chilling like you and AP??
    Whichever way... Have yiu spoken to him directly?

    The write was good Kaz... It was funny, whether intended or not.


    • DinkyDiver gold member
      November 4
      Edit | Reply
      to be totally honest with you this was a very fecked off poem aimed at craig lol coz he is damn right Lazy! and the X-box is played Way OTT... yes I have AP but I do try to behave... notice I am not on here half as much as I Used to be But I can see why You why you found this funny

      As for the gym its mainly the first point but then also a bit of your second point hehe xx


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh, the thing about the laundry and the xbox...spot on about my boyfriend lol. He's good about doing other stuff but when it comes to the xbox I couldn't pull him away if I was buck naked standing in front of the tv lol. Great write. Thanks for sharing this with me and good luck in the contest hun!