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floundering



today I tried to be human,
fit the norm without
breaking the outer shell
of your reality

instead of inhaling truths
seen by eyes opened wide,
I breathed the whole of you
and drowned in the poison
of your words

misconceptions of self
your human traits
treacherous

and mine...
the belief that
things will get better

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: "We are but bad imitations of fish drowning in water."

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Malabu
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    cant help but get wrapped up in your words...and how sweetly you arrange them
    as though a song
    a poem to remember
    and fall gently from ones lips


  • Naridill
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    Somewhat uplifting but holds back - I can read the emotions well through this piece and feel you have tuned in a nice mix between emotion and imagery.


  • Desire gold member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply

    Wow~

    Okies this is Brilliant~ Geesh~ teach me how to write
    Adore the way You weaved this~ Woot!
    Couldn't help but smile~ because You kicked tail...
    Emotions swell the eyes ~ Powerful Beautiful One

    Keep that quill dancing
    Thank You for sharing Your Voice & Talent
    Best wishes in the contest~
    with love & light~ Desire~*~


  • crivanea silver member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    ohhhh.....wow...now that's deep...


  • JinSays gold member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    ...
    love,
    jin


  • michael thomas gold member
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    Nice. Great imagery.


  • chilali
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    i love it


  • Cannonsfire
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    Fits the bill as a beached whale too C

1 - 12 of 12