Bittersweet Silence

We long for the sound of bittersweet silence
but alas we shall long for naught
fore today there will be no such sweetness
because I dared to open my mouth
and what awful words came out?
only spiteful words with complaints meant to dig at you

and so they dig a hole into your heart and leave you hollow
I am sorry that I did not try to stop myself sooner
perhaps I could have but just didn't know it
I hate myself for what I did to you and how I made you feel
everything I have become is nothing that I wanted to be
it's just this fear of the bittersweet silence you see

the fear would have me assume that if we can't speak to one another
that means something must be truly deeply unfathomably wrong
I cannot allow this relationship to perish as so many others have
the only reason I opened my mouth was to open myself up to you
to become vulnerable and expose the inner truths I've kept hidden
all I wanted was to show you what exactly it is that I want from you

I want to see deeper into your beautiful heart and your ulterior mind
so I tried to lead by example and show myself to you with no guard up
I let down my shield to let you in and keep you there but all has gone awry
my plans laid to waste all just because my bitter tongue and bruised ego
couldn't help but make an ass out of me and a fool out of us both
next time I shall hold my tongue and embrace the silence I once feared

I will suffer in the obscurity of our existence as we let the shadows hold us
behind the veil we are safer than we are uncovered in the glare of reality
so for now let us hide and let us keep away from the edges of honesty
stay at a distance and let the light shine on those with nothing to hide
we must be caged in darkness and silence in order to restrain our demons
lest they be unleashed upon each other once more ~ in bittersweet savagery