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The Martian Anniversary Ball

Missing image

 

 

Welcome,welcome one and all, 
' The Martian Anniversary Ball '
may I introduce to you
musicians no one ever knew.

After days of much conjecture

drums will feature - Sarah Texture
cymbals played by Fred Manoeuvre
Martian king and stain remover.

Strings of anxious solitude
worn by Britney, nearly nude
Double bass - Tim Element
no one quite knows where he went.

Cello strummed by Marvin Chaos

shouting ' Please will someone pay us '
Face of gold and faded purple
Dan from Mars a Cratered Burple.

Elvis Spink in faded orange
sucking on a Pluto lozenge
singing charms a Neptune Siren
robot witch with broken wirin'.

Music smooth of Martian rhythm
just join in and sing songs with 'em 
comedy and tragedy
comes from sighs of sympathy.

There you have them, plain to see
musicians of the galaxy
hear the music blown zigzag
wrapped inside an old brown bag


Author notes

Will add words used later, need to go shopping

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • Topnotchsy
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    Fun piece and congrats on a well deserved gold trophy (I too entered the contest, so I know how difficult some of these words were.)


  • isomuse silver member
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    MY SCORING CRITERIA AND SCORE:
    How creative were the rhymes? (out of 10): 10
    How "perfect" were the rhyme approximations? (out of 10): 8
    How well did the poem use meter and rhythm? (out of 7): 7
    Did the poem have the appearance that it wasn't necessarily written JUST for an AP contest? (out of 5): 4
    Wow! Factor? (out of 3): 3
    TOTAL: 32/35

    This was an incredibly creative piece that really integrates my unusual challenge and some fine poetic license. The flow is pristine. It has lots of humor and, of course, some very creative rhymes! The smile never left my face! My favorite stanza was #2.

    Most successful rhyme, IMHO: "Fred Maneuver - stain remover"
    Least successful rhyme, IMHO: "zigzag - brown bag"

    Thanks a million for entering!


  • isomuse silver member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    An absolutely fun piece! Lot's of laughs and some superbly creative rhymes here! "Fred Maneuver - stain remover" and "siren - wirin'" were my favorites!

    Very nice story and meter also!

    Thanks for sharing and entering! I'll enter a more detailed comment about scoring soon! Cheers!


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    I think I married a Cratered Burple!! Haha this is just priceless and so indicative of your creativity and weirdness Love the rhythm and rhyme. Yeo you can rhyme alright
    Best wishes in the contest