Just when it seems
the day
has taken
my very soul,
I lean against the window
and observe
the golden eye moon
lingering just above tree-line.
Like putting out the cat
for the night
Mother Nature seems
to send the moon on
hunting expeditions,
to seek and find us,
to snatch away
the creeping sorrows
still nibbling at our hearts.
A contest entry
- At my window by Age of Rain.
402 points, ended November 17, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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edit:'golden-eye-moon'
bare, sparse, and beautiful.
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A wonderful piece with brilliant metaphor. The ending sweeps one away, as in a moonlit night - 'to snatch away
the creeping sorrows
still nibbling at our hearts.'
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Thank you so much for your reading and kind remarks. This was one of those poems that wrote itself because of the contest prompt!
Lita
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I read this earlier as I was eating dinner..and I couldn't help but think of mice and the cheese I was munching on
love the metaphor here ..wonderfully done
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LOL! Hope you didn't lose your appetite! Thank you for reading and for the clappies! Lita
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I must say, straight off the bat
that your imagery is just stellar
and I was definitely "there"
which is rare nowadays
The similie of "putting out the cat"
made me smile
I used to have a mob of kitties of my own
and I do rather miss them.
Thank you for sharing your brilliance!
Best of luck.
Zach Estel
lings
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Thank you, Zach! I'm glad it made you smile. My two Maine Coons keep demanding attention, and somehow they keep creeping into my poems, one way or another... and of course, I wouldn't have it any other way. I do appreciate your kind words! Lita
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How imaginative and wonderful. The comparison you make is both lovely and filled with imagination. I would have never thought of it and ya know somehow I think it would make a great aha moment for a haiku!!! a million applauds.
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Thanks so much! If I could cut it to fewer words, I would, but I'm not very good at haiku -- although I love them! Lita
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Well done.
Quite a unique take on the prompt. I liked this a lot, It is thought inspiring and true as well.
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Thank you so much, dear Poet, for stopping by and for the kind comment. Just one of those thoughts that popped into my mind... I guess the muse was around! Lita
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I was struck by the nostalgia flowing through this, old sorrows nibbling at our hearts, that golden eye moon, out hunting through the night, what a great metaphor! Just excellent!
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Thank you so much for stopping by, mal! I guess the nibbles often are more apparent at night, just when we need the moon the most... Lita
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I could feel the sadness in this piece, but i like the thought of the moon snatching our sorrows away ... if only it were that easy
All the best in the contest.
Sue
x
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Only one cat, 8 billion mouse holes.... Lita
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Great methaphor Lita. I have tried writing metaphorically and it is either too obvious or ham-fisted. I like your take on this. Very well done.
Mike
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Sometimes things just leap into my mind, and since I have two cats, occasionally they demand (command?) attention when I'm not expecting it. I glad you don't think it was too forced! Lita
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