late stressed nights

What a binge looks like
Ever crammed bad candy in your mouth
on a night when you're stressed out?
It looks a bit like
a research paper in every class
next year's scholarship dependent on if you pass
an ugly mug and fetish- genes
old men eyed you up before you knew what "puberty" means
and they did more than look
So you decide to write it in a book
but money shouts about its lack
and thanksgiving  flight plans are really whack
The boy who makes your knees go weak
gives you attention, but not the kind you seek
and your obsessive tendencies
don't mend any of these
but blister bloody holes in
your freckled, pocked and fatty skin
you count and sort the skittles
before you add them to your thighs
and you know your attraction to girls
is something you will have to hide.
You know you are whining
and its really quite sad
so you take your anger out on cheese sticks
which makes you more mad.
this is what a binge looks like-
three lists and a lament
avoid realization, avoid time well spent
like crying and loosing
homework or snoozing.
binges don't stop.
There is always more food
or more things to criticize.
it is easy to brood
on what you wish were lies.