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placid,precise and my penitence for thought

the flicker of motionless time
it strolls past words
two by two
subtle soldiers
a regimen

and if i sat long enough
for emotion to become vision
it would be within a voice

with words of heart
the sound of definitive
like language
as music masters art
in the echo of melody

my words are owned
a part of tears
a shedding of petals

not tedious enough to overpower

their perfumed euphoria
takes my mood

often
speechless

too often
with too much to say

A contest entry

Ya think?

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • just mercedes gold member
    November 18

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for this entry into the contest. I like the contrasts of the first stanza, the flicker of frozen time, and the movement through expressions of emotion into scents

    I'm interested in words as a shedding of petals - I wonder if they are as involuntary as flowers - everything made more sense when I drank tequila. I wonder why we have a finger of scotch but the colt is a hand taller


  • DogFish silver member
    November 15
    Edit | Reply
    Now this is a well tended garden of words!


  • LalalalaLoopstah gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    as music masters art
    in the echo of melody


  • Rose Angel gold member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    "like music masters art
    in the echo of melody"
    choice words defining poetry as you see it evokes thought provoking reflection....All the best in the contest!


  • secberm
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    Well done, sis. It's been a while since I've perused your poetry.

    I too wondered about your word 'regimen' (the old soldier that I am) and initially didn't see a possible play on words. Hmmm... Curious.

    Write on.

    Dez


    • Cannonsfire
      November 5
      Edit | Reply
      I am referring back to time being a regimen, not the soldiers being a regiment lol perhaps I should rethink that part??

  • Bad Bill
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    Intelligent and subtle poetry. Just one thing - did you mean "regimen" or "regiment" in your opening stanza? A typo or a clever play on words?
    Great poem anyhow.

    Bill

  • Judith Chandler
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    "for emotion to become vision" - my favourite line here, I think plus "too often/with too much to say." So you are showing both sides.

    Some great imagery.


  • cheshirecat024
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    i really enjoyed reading this.

1 - 11 of 11