I. One day admission.
Let's make the most of each day we are given with each other; I can make the little things special for you, including the way I open the passenger side door for your licorice red shoes to step out, and the way I hold open the popcorn bucket striped gate. We can play some rounds of I-Got-It even though we hear our chances of winning aren't very high; but hey, you miss one hundred percent of the chances you don't take; and girl, you are a safe bet.
II. My favorite treat.
I want to caress your Tilt-a-Whirl hips all day long, to radiate warmth to your body with my own. I'll be a brighter, more thermal version of the sun, more appealing than the covering, cotton candy clouds; I will stare into the enchanting lollipop swirls of your eyes as your redolent perfumes of cinnamon-topped fried dough entice me to snuggle into your neck; and girl, your caramel coated lips never tasted so delightful.
III. An unforgettable ride.
We can pretend it's 1950 again, and I will guide your hand with my own towards the undiscovered nighttime sky. We will sit, hands clasped together like the lock on our Ferris wheel carriage gate; destinies sealed. And centrifugal forces will float us towards the stars that twinkle back at flickering florescent bulbs on this joyride; and some might call that physics, but girl, you are a love carnival.
Author notes
prompt:
I want pieces that are soft, beautiful, and whimsical; but it has to be centered around love. Make my heart soar, a sigh escape my lips, and maybe even a tear escape from my eyes. prose & freeverse, but I will take anything. Imagery and metaphor are big pluses!
the first stanza could definitely be improved.
and i appologize for my strange obsession with 1950.
thanks for reading!
In a list
A contest entry
- contest ♥ by Kathraina.
1000 points, ended November 15, 26 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - hurry your arse up. by ZachP.
1000 points, ended November 12, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bullets in your Smile by Fallen Under Light.
400 points, ended November 14, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you dislike, so I can edit.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow, this piece is delicious!
I salivated over the imagery and metaphors here. The way the imagery unfolded in my mind's eyes was almost ethereal! LOVE IT! Creativity = A++ !
Bravo and thank you for entering
♥ kate -
;)
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this is amazing! a tangible sweetness runs through your chords, kindness and love that seems almost nonexistent. too many people skip the ferris wheel and head straight for the perilous plunge, without realizing that they are gonna catch some major air.
wow. this is mindlblowing and heartfelt. even the background colors take me back to a simpler time. A may zing.!
My best,
Zach Estel -
I love the 1950's as well. My favorite stanza is the second one because i find it the one that's the most descriptive and filled with the most imagery...it simply takes my breath away...this was a fantastic write.
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now that's just stunning ...enough said...you took me to a carnival...and i smell the popcorn..taste the cotton candy..and imagine myself to be in the notebook..lol..beautiful...soft...and whimsical...you got it
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