I.
we waited, wondering why
this wait so long, my darling,
why do you hold on so;
what unfinished is there, here,
that you would stay the pain
through day and into a drop-dark night
perhaps, that is when dreams are real,
where you see more clearly
shapes of your past come to visit
as move of curtain, shiver of leaf,
those silent self-observed signals
heralding their arrival to your bedside
your children own you in different ways,
but in these aging years, we forgive you
as those young saplings grown up, and perhaps, crooked
beneath your shadow
beneath another kind of darkness
that hovers over us all now
II.
we speak to her our last earthly need
for her to know, how love grows on you,
how chaos can become compassion ~
you taught us that these last years
I refuse to say goodbye, how does one
do that and yet have faith in further journeys?
What is death, here, is a birth in another place
where all your heart desired comes true
Oh, let us hold you, not
to this heavy body place
III.
what you could not give before, you can now,
dear heart, for you are not pinned
to hard earth and toils it demanded of you ~
and sorrows we cannot begin to comprehend
we would not hold you here, for we are wont
to want you angelic and ever guardian, now,
in ways you could not be
goodnight, my darling, our dreams will be filled,
our hearts lonely for you, your going away,
this time, for real
Author notes
5 pm, West Coast time, after a day of waiting, she was gathered up into every wish and dream her heart desired.
She wrote this on her board this September.... since she was deaf, we had to write everything and she took the board from me and wrote this.
In a list
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Comments
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There are no good byes...
As you well know, there are no goodbyes, for we are all part of Oneness, and those who have moved on to another realm or phase or stage are just as much a part of that Oneness as always. Of course the flesh, the physical presence, is no longer apparent, but their energy is always there, as nothing is destroyed. And the energy of mothers, who taught us Love, is indeed special and accessible, having taught us that reach and stretch - for in teaching us how to love, they have taught us Infinity and Eternity. In the end that is not about angels and harps and pearly gates and the rest of the fluff people have invented in attempts to bring Mystery to a human level, but simply about One. And so there are no goodbyes, only goodnights, as your mother continues to give and you continue to receive the joyous blessing of knowing Love...
Carol
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So true, Carol... the fluff that others invent to bring only God-knowing things to human understanding, indeed. It is about One, and as grief works its magic on me, I work through to that Oneness that will bring about a healing of the heart. Ty, always, for being such friend to me.
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Love is like that...
When my daughter was small, I'd say, "So, how much do you love me?" And she'd reply, "I love you a hundred, daddy," in her mind a hundred meaning a whole lot.
Mothers are like that, too: they love a hundred, maybe a million, and the energies emanating from that love stir us to the bone, and we learn to love like that. We, too, love a hundred, and one of love's greatest components is the enduring strength it proffers upon us.
If we measure things in the flesh, of course, we miss the point: love, in reality, is endless. And when we allow for the endlessness, when we slip into it, knowingly and submissively, we are forever with the one who now resides there.
The slate upon which love is now written spans the vastness of forever, and while it may take special eyes to see it, to see it is to live it, and to live it is to access Eternity and to continue walking the communal course.
It is not about tears of sorrow, but of joy. It is not about an aching heart, but a heart bursting with gratitude and knowing. It is not about a wounded soul, for a soul has no wounds. It is, now, and always, about the profundity of Love. And Love is the Continuum. It has no equal but it imparts on us the Equal Opportunity.
Love, Richard...
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I work through losing a mother the third time, and all those complexities that go cell deep. Although, my soul knows that there is no loss at all, but a new way of relating, the skin and bone feelings are loss. I know that now she can give what she could not give in this lfie, for her life was harder than anyone can imagine..so much sorrow attached to her, so much chaos and so much longing and need. I am grateful she is released from us, truly, and all our neediness. And I am blessed to have known her these three years. I am one who got the best of who she was for me. I am finding it hurts no less than the other three times, and read "Prayers For The Departed" - "...Oh, my Lord, the poor one hath verily hastened unto the Kingdom of Thy wealth, the stranger unto his [her] home within Thy precincts, he that is sore athirst to the heavenly river of Thy bounty. Deprive him [her] not his [her] share of the banquet of Thy grace and from the favor of Thy bounty...." - Baha'u'llah
ty brother, there is, of course, comfort in your words, as always, wise friend
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This brought tears to my eyes, and reminded me of my own mother gone now nearly 20 years... beautifully written, and a wonderful tribute of faith and love. Blessings.
Lita
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ty, hawkeslake. It is comfort to know there are those who consider the downed heart of a friend..I shall rise again..but need my wings tended to.
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very touching. going away, this time for real. I know this pain; I lost my beloved father nine months ago.
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hugs, ea, ty for you note of commonalities.
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My deepest condolences, Carol. I know, there are no words. I shall just hold your hand in silence, my Friend. May she rest in everlasting peace.
She's earned it.
Quietude
My silence becomes rapture,
although sorrow speaks languages unknown.
Can you not hear the songs of my nascent heart
when rain falls, a slower silk wrapped in solitude?
Poetry dwells and swells within us all,
a burgeoning of ink unspilled by mere moment's mention;
a flower rising into sunlight provokes sheer beauty to cascade
on its long, lingering journey from stream to sea.
www.allpoetry.com/poem/5804261
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In the stillness of this fall morning...Earth reflects my loss.
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