Living the Dream

Livin' the dream?
You are what I wanted,
but your body is all you can give
And I can't keep begging for more,
I should be happy with what I can get
What a dream, how surreal,
how bodies can touch
but souls don't have to feel.
You are the man of my fantasies
but unrequieted is all I can hope to be.
When prayers are futile, longing for that fairytale
All my aspirations created with you in mind
are at the bottom of a dried out wishing well,
in time, held in, not able to confide my sins,
there the stories are floating in my mind,
to go over and over like looped movies, no beginning, no end,
looped climaxes again, and again.
my shame is in all my memories of us,
obsession with the thirst, disgusted with my curse
Your words are hollow to be filled by my hallucinations
but my love isn't what you want.
Desire lacking substance to manifest
no matter how long I scheme
how many hours I steam
why can't it be me?