listen.

what is your favorite verb?

i honestly can’t decide. i know i use the same verbs in a lot of my poetry but i just can’t remember what they would be. there are so many great verbs.

where did your name come from?

a bob dylan song, visions of johanna. my dad wanted to name me that and my mom followed through i guess. i like my name, even though it means something boring, “gods gift”. it’s still a rarity, especially the way i pronounce it, exactly like it’s spelled: jo-hanna. (emphasis on the h)

what is the difference(s) between who you are and who you wish you were?

i don’t often wish to be someone else. but today i wished i was the wind. it would suck: constantly moving, only catching glimpses of lives, seeing your own destruction, putting out cigarettes, encouraging fires,only inhaling bits and pieces of left over smoke. but i would see everything, i would touch everything, be a part of everyone’s world. always be there, constantly moving, ever changing,never ever stuck or broken, just the wind.

what are your insecurities?

that who i am is not enough. that i am not talented enough to be remembered for any reason.

why can't you sleep?

because my roommates alarm clock rings until you stop it, it rang for twenty minuets today. but i’m sure falling asleep will be harder now because all i want to do is dream and when i really want to do something it usually doesn’t work out.

is your regret fading?

you see i can’t decide if i’m regretful. i spent two years with someone i truly love and trusted only to find out last night that he kissed a girl in september and has been talking to her ever since. funny things happen when you dig through peoples phones. i just don’t know if i have a regret that needs to fade.

how conditional are you morals?

i have few morals: don’t steal personal things, litter as little as possible, try to be kind to people, and be honest. i think i’ve set a pretty realistic set of morals, so, for me, they/re easy to follow.

what do you say to yourself that makes it alright?

that today is today and tomorrow will be tomorrow.

are you in love?

yes. sadly. it hurts right now.

are you in love with more than one person?

just one.

how often do you want to be someone else?

i can’t stop thinking of the wind.

can you wink?

yes, i would say: “what a dumb question, everyone can wink” but i do know a girl who claims she can’t wink, but i think she’s faking it to get attention.

do you flirt with guys/girls you would never date?

yes. and now that i’m single i’ll probably do that a lot more.

are you currently leading someone on?

no

do you lie about trivial things just for the hell of it?

sometimes. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. but i haven’t noticed myself doing it for awhile.

do you believe in karma?

i think so. especially from experience. i cheated and immediately got poison ivy while in europe, passport stolen, and broken up with via facebook.

do humans have souls?

yes, or else nothing would make sense.

are there people in your family you secretly don't love?

i think so. i’d rather not admit that, but it’s true.

are you jealous?

yes. i have no idea why i was cheated on, i thought i was giving him everything he needed. but i guess she had something i didn’t.

do you avoid looking in mirrors?

no. in fact i probably look at them too much.

what is a name you consider beautiful?

arianna juliet (juliet said the french way) and mateo (matthew said the french way). i love names, they fascinate me and i vow never to name my children something common. i’m not sure why that is, but i’m not going to name my son michael or something like that.

do you read to escape your own life?

sometimes. i used to a whole lot more than i do now. i read mostly in the car or in the park.

do you ever forget who you are?

i guess i don’t know who i am. i am a woman, another lost soul. but other than that i don’t know and i don’t think i ever will.