Waiting for you to
answer.
Its just killing me.
I know how your feeling.
and i want to fix that.
but i don't know how
to talk to you.
my mind doesn't work
when your next to me.
thats why i want you.
my eyes couldn't get them off
of you.
people say why.
I say my heart.
I can not help how it feels.
Im wishing we can try again and be
together.
p.s. Im still a fool
What did you think
Comments
-
Good
I liked the structure, it worked well and added to the fluency. My favourite bit would have to be this:
'my mind doesn't work
when your next to me.
thats why i want you.
my eyes couldn't get them off
of you.'
That was profoundly emotional and unique at the same time.
