october winds

i heard my brother's footsteps today
the heavy thump-thump of his combat boots announced his arrival into my dreams
he was wearing the seashell necklace i had given him-a bead missing-blood on the leather strap
and chris was standing in his shadow...
i couldn't look at him-but i HAD to look at him-
he was in his uniform of camo cargo's and a band T-"the misfits"-i think
when he moved-christopher moved...it was clear they were one
they smelled of alcohol and soap. "camel" brand cigarrettes. and death.
only his eyes...wawi's eyes...were ALIVE
and i thought : "what does he want?"..."what could they possibly need-up there...in 'heaven'?
he layed himself across the headboard of my bed.
"it didn't hurt,you know..."
he spoke without words.
we were always able to read each other's minds
taste each other's tears...
my dead brother tells me that the accident had happened so fast and the car hit so hard that there simply was no time for pain
he was here.
and then he was gone.
i asked him if he was ok-there-where they were
i ask abou heaven and hell
about white lights and angels
i ask about "god"
and he says..."ther's love here..."
that's all.

"THERE'S LOVE HERE."

i heard my brother's footsteps  today
the heavy thump-thump of his combat boots were walking with me in my wake.
everyday
all the time
he speaks without words
he tells me to watch for him out of the corners of my eyes
YES-that WAS him passing by...
wawi tells me-and chris echo's his words...
that he rides october winds and carries a guitar
he flies with wings of fire
and is ONE with chris's star
and they are with us
so close, yet so far...
omnipresent

and there's LOVE where they are...