I acquiesce to your request,
my effervescent fellow.
If rhyme and eloquence you ask,
then heed no longer irksome bellows.
Hearken unto me, and ascertain my heart and soul.
Wilt thou I to turn an adage,
cite dread Hamlet, judge it droll?
Purportedly my exhibition,
is tant soit peu ridicule.
Rather I denote commission,
and esteem myself the rule.
Not to bluster, bluff and howl,
of mastery in this realm.
Solely: they've thrown in the towel,
and I've assumed the helm.
And so divulge my rummaging cohort,
is this not what you delve for?
Was it your hope that most would abort?
Avoiding toothless lions roar?
I have written something choice,
the ball is in your court.
Wilt thy intellect rejoice,
or choose your vision to distort.
A contest entry
- My points Vs. Your creativity. by feetus.
4209 points, ended November 12, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
This was a lot of fun what do you think?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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You have potential here, but it always saddens me to see talent wasted on bashing other poets/poems. Must you put others down to raise yourself up? Honestly, it is an unbecoming business and considered bad "form".
You write well, so let your work stand on its own without demeaning others in the process.
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On the Contrary
Please, I don't need to justify myself when I say that people who don't give it there all have thrown in the towel, besides if you think that challenging the wimps with 100 words in their vocabulary that are all four letters long is wrong then you have more issues than your post suggests. I'm sure you're a wonderful poet, but I don't agree that other poets shouldn't be challenged to be better. The deal is that if no one is doing their best than the punks with a 100/4 vocabulary rise to the top and emerge like a pulsing zit on the face of art. If you had read any other of my pieces you would know that I'm not all about putting others down to raise myself up--on the contrary, I encourage those who aren't writing to start and to blow away the chaff off this threshing floor. No poet should feel threatened by another's work because he knows that he is putting forth his VERY best when he writes, and is ashamed when what he writes is mediocre and caged, like I said to jinglingjoy, "there are very few (poets) who aren't either stuck in their cages of free verse or rules or pay absolutely no attention to the rules, there's a beautiful happy medium I aim for, and for that when I hit my mark I don't mind a little bluster and howl."
What "bad form" is, is an unmerited boast, like a child telling an adult he's wrong, it's stepping outside of societal order. This, my friend is challenging a poet not to merely write "irksome bellows, Lion's roar" or any other nonsense that denotes them throwing in the towel. And so if your quite finished, then I will not recant this piece that just so happens to be a piece of humor with a bite, all poetry stands on the shoulders of those who went before it, like Aristophanes, Shakespeare, and the like. Good day. -
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I believe you mean "gave it their all" and "you're a wonderful poet".
We are all human, we all make mistakes, and none of us are perfect. All we can do is offer our best effort and -- should we seek judgement -- hope that criticism comes in a constructive form, such as correcting a spelling error or offering a better word choice for a particular fit. Such criticisms challenge the poet to improve their work without demeaning them. UNconstructive criticism, on the other hand (such as your above assessment that I have issues), serves no purpose but to insult the recipient. -
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a conversion of topic
Do not bother grasping at the wind my dear lady, by pointing out spelling errors and conjunction mistakes, I realize that the subject has now changed. You are worried about such petty things as grammar and spelling, when it’s the content that has gone to rot. Would it help them to be able to swear using 5 languages and 100 different adjectives? No, the content in question is volatile, an irksome bellow in the ears of those who give it their all to put out quality wholesome poetry and art. If you are so intent on this being an offensive poem, then let it be offensive to those who delight in the disgusting putrescence of society and feel they have to burden the rest of us with what they call fine art glorifying the sins of this age in magnificent pro’s. A perversion of such a beautiful gift to mankind. -
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You are needlessly verbose. A simple apology would have sufficed.
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i think this is my favorite one you've written so far.
i love the language and you did a great job with the rhyme. the form does not seem forced.
it has a wonderful balance of beauty and wit.
my kudos to you!
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It is a lot of fun, although the language is confusing at times and I wondered why you chose to use it, but then that was the point, wasn't it?
I think you have a few "thy's" in there that should be "thines" as in the second to last line.
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mmmmmmmm
very clever indeed. however, me thinks thou doest indeed bluster, and howl,
assuming others have thrown in the towel . . . . .
- - I enjoyed this read.
jingle
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haha, thanks it's just one of those things
just the majority, there are very few who arn't either stuck in their cages of free verse or rules and then those who pay absolutely no attention to the rules, there's a beautiful happy medium I aim for, and for that when I hit my mark I don't mind a little bluster and howl.
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You've taken the helm and I'm quite content with your driving abilities.
You may take me around the block a few times and I will pay the fare, dear cabbie.
Thanks for entering =D
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