Tonight I knelt down to pray.
To what, to who, is not for me to say.
I asked a question I'v never thought.
To find an answer thats been long sought.
I confront an entity that saved my life.
A life so lost and darkness so rife.
My fathers a pastor, he talks to God.
I always believed, a lost mans facade.
But tonight is different because I need to know.
If it's truth, absolute, or just a show.
Why do the good always suffer the worst?
If God is omnipotent and always knows first.
A crutch for the weak to walk when they have no handicap.
A trail on a nowhere path and God is the map.
Where does the everlasting love begin.
If most your creation rots in hell due to sin.
You're my best friend you fucking sick bastard.
A perfect lie so craftily mastered.
Tonight I say goodbye to my only ounce of hope.
I'm sorry but I'm ready to live, I will cope.
You're the schizophrenic creation of a sick mans head.
So why do I struggle to tell myself that you're dead.
To many facts to keep you alive.
You just aren't real, you can't survive.
Goodbye my friend, the struggles aren't done.
But tomorrow I'll wake up alone, and I'll walk on.
Author notes
I don't believe in God anymore but i'm still to scared to actually admit it or except the fact that he doesn't exist. I understand that my fear contradicts my belief, but I believe in hard facts, I look at the concept of God and everything about him. I know so much because my dad is a pastor and the whole concept of him is to illogical but yet I'm to scared of the consequences of such beliefs to outright admit it.
A contest entry
- Vent. by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended December 1, 2009, 58 entries
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Comments
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I know exactly how you feel
it seems the most faithful of us are the ones who give up on the silly idea of god.
I used to believe but I can't anymore and if does exist
then I hate him forever more.
~lee
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Interesting first two lines... I have to say...
Like you'll say you pray but not many 'religions; really do that, some call it something else...
Why do the good always suffer the worst?
If God is omnipotent and always knows first.
I believe that everyone asks themselves this question.
I also think that everyone forgets that there's a devil floating around somewhere....
Whichever way you look at it, each religfion is largely the same... and all have their flaws.
That's why I don't understand why people kill each other over it.
Bastard/Mastered... what an awesome rhyme!!
So don;t say there is no God... Just... accept the fact that everyone is different. And look at the reasons why you may be losing your faith.
Perhaps why you're afraid? Because you don;t really want to admit whatever else is going on in your head.
Believe me, I understand everything you've written in this write, at the moment things are going so wrong for me that I've questioned too.
I think the fact that you're surrounded by belief adds to your discomfort.
You're young.
You don't have to decide now... Perhaps asking for some kind of sign would help??
I
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Beautiful...
you are so articulate in this write. Each line flows easily and effortlessly. I really like this. Thank you very much for sharing it. Peace and light, Kendal
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