I’m scared of life, of reality
For there are crappy lies I'm holding inside
I was a bitch I know...
But I just had to take it out.
I wouldn’t want a devil by my side.
You'd never known this side of me.
Neither did I
Because you never lied kissing the cross
Nor did I
I know u don’t care how it hurts here, u never did
I don't want it anymore baby but I'm here to whack your dick
I don’t know what forgiveness means
Want to realize what pain is?
Call for your girl, let havoc unfurl...
You'll draw regret, till your last breath
Wish you could turn back??
Sure, you will,
Only when I’ve gifted myself your end…
An end to my insomniac nights
An end to my suicidal cries
An end to damn lies that pierced through
I'm putting an end to YOU
I thought we'd show each other the world
Feel the love and your warmth
But your lips that kissed, whispered those lies
I'd love my hands stained when this man dies.
All i thought was of shooting him right thru his heart.
Comments
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A couple of things with this write:
The first stanza comes out with a roar, the long second section drags a little bit for me.
Perhaps if you shorten a couple of the lines you will distill the work and add strength to the write at the same time.
EX:
I know you don't care
you never did
don't want it anymore
here to whack your dick
I know of no forgiveness
the line 13 seems a bit out of place, read it aloud without the line and see what you think.
Read the piece aloud, I think that you will be able to fine tune it.
I like the aggressive tone of the work, that you don't clutter the reader's mind with all of the why.
I hope writing this was the catharsis you needed for cleansing your spirit.
Peace
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