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fiat lux.

Beloved, I would burn the world in clouds
of napalm; bring to sing a running stream
of flame, with ashes like a widow's shroud;
a gentle balm to cover every scream
that falls from shattered windows, every curse
to fall from clothèd lips before they burn
on stakes that they created in life's course --
of course, to Heaven blinded eyes shall turn.

Now. Stop and breathe with rationality;
for I would scorch the world to kill your cross,
and set our breaking hearts forever free,
to rid our bones of emptiness's moss.

Today we ache in quiet suffering,
and yet, with haunted voices, we still sing.
 
 
 
 
--
Jon's Sonnet 

Author notes

title: let there be light.


Z a c h P

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Diminished Capacity gold member
    November 21
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    You are truly mesmerizing. I absolutely love this piece. I won't be putting finalists up until the last minute, but you definitely made the cut to the next round. Thank you so much for entering my contest.


  • Hetha gold member
    November 10

    Edit | Reply
    I'm blown away Zach, this is a beautiful read. Well done.
    Very emotional and full of impact.


  • Iliad Keys
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    Fascinating! I'm not entirely certain of the theme or point this sonnett is driving at. The vocabulary is impressive, and although you took liberty with the rhyme scheme, it still fits. Let me read it again to try and figure out the theme...
    So it seems to be narrated in first person, and given that the title is "Let There Be Light", I would assume that God is the narrator. In the first two quatrains he recognizes mankind's suffering and seeks to offer his "beloved" a "balm". The narrator in the couplet certainly seems to be human though, as well as in the preceding quatrain. It seems that there is a change of characters? Am I close? Completely off the griddle?


  • Rick Weston silver member
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    i really like the tone you bring to this piece. nicely done.


  • J. M. Spenser
    November 2

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    You look bored in your picture. No wonder you did such a fantastic job!!! OMGosh I didn't even know it rhymed. Or that it even was a sonnet. I liked it. I've written only two horrbly done sonnets. This though was superb. Bravo!


  • just mercedes gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    Very strong imagery, great rhyme and meter. I'm left wondering why love would make a lover chose to damage the world so drastically though. The 'quiet suffering' of the final couplet seems far away from the destruction of the first stanza. I'm missing something here.

  • cuteascanbe
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    love it, very inspirational and moving... good job


  • Desire gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply

    Wow~

    What a Powerful piece penned and I don't normally write Sonnets but sure Love to read them~ What an Inspiration
    Adore how You presented this~
    Bravo!!
    The Imagery Stunning~ Metaphors grab~ Woot!
    Love this!!~~
    Keep that quill dancing my Friend
    Thank You for sharing Your Voice & Talent
    Best wishes in the contest too~
    with love & light~ Desire~*~


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    i like.



  • thejon101
    November 2
    Edit | Reply

    LOVE IT

    Zach, this is beautiful.


    • ZachP gold member
      November 2
      Edit | Reply
      Aw, you actually created an AP account just to leave a comment thanks

1 - 12 of 12