If I could pen the finest art
and hallow it to you
aspiring that when we part
you assume my words are true
Trust in my simple actions
even though I may be meek
digest my bound reactions
as for you I truly seek
At most I've been left shattered
fragmented like bate glass
eventually none mattered
for I reached a different class
Sincerity is my passion
if once bestowed to be
my love has not a ration
when you abide with me
No promises to be broken
Depleted, dead, or open
A contest entry
- New Inspiration by faithwhisperer.
900 points, ended November 22, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love, Please by Painted Nails.
950 points, ended November 17, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - <3 Anything and Everything <3 by vampireblood.
575 points, ended December 1, 153 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
mmhmm.
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This was really good, I enjoyed reading it. Your rhyming was beautiful.
Thank you so much for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~Vampy -
this is a stunning write,.
thought provoking,
simply lovely
Rend
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It is a very ... seemingly effortless, and fluid expression of the heart....The words bring out the honesty of emotions very well.
I like specially the ending... It leaves the impression of something to be desired... immortal promises.
"No promises to be broken
Depleted, dead, or open"
and the whole prelude to it...
in one word... its beautiful!
Congratulations on being featured...
all the best.
- Aalta
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Depleted, dead, or open
I definitely liked the ending. It was very strong and I liked the poem. It had a nice flow.
Thanks for entering, and some of the phrases were original and quirky.
6/10
- Blue beauty
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WAW!Love this poem... 'eventually none mattered
for I reached a different class ' Great I have yo say xxx
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Ohhhh! Thank you very much for your entry! I like your words, heartfelt expression and sincerity..."No promises to be broken, depleted, dead, or open..." I like that line, and I like the one about sincerity leading to that. Well done!
faith
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Beautiful
When words can be so honest
And the meaning can be so real
You are keeping the hearts promise
To always believe in what you feel
The meaning can be doubled
But i think yours has just one
In the death of the lonely
You must never be alone
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Well done!
Congrats on being Featured!
~ Tim
November 3, 2009
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Nice
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wow. amazing writee.
congrats on being today's feature : )
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This is great! congrats!!
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Congrats on being featured! Nicely expressed. I really like the second stanza...especially the phrase "digest my bound reactions." Well Done!
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I liked the idea, but some of the rhymes seemed forced. The word choice was iffy in certain areas too, like in the third stanza: "eventually none mattered." None seems too vague of a word. It implies that there is something, maybe a person, but it doesn't tell anything. Also, the transistion from the first stanza to the second stanza didn't fit. I really liked the ending though. Sorry if I've been too critical.
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well done, this is a great poem.
Sincerity is my passion
if once bestowed to be
my love has not a ration
when you abide with me
this is my favourite stanza.
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you assume my words are true
i like how its not that you are demanding what your saying to be taken as true or even suggesting it. its just how you are saying take it as you will..
eventually none mattered
for I reached a different class
and i love this fro the hope it gives even in a life that may seem harsh or impossible
amazing write. i truly loved this
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bravo!
well done being featured on todays poem.
this was fantastic.
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Todays feature poem
A wonderful poem speaking to the gift of love when given fully and without
restriction. An penned with a nice rhyme and flow that truly does allow the gift of love to shine.
Congrats on being featured and thank you so much for sharing your gift of love with all of us.
Have a blessed day.
awannabepoet
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Thank you so much. I appreciate all the comments and critical review.
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