I'm not really okay(He said I would be)

The sun shining here continues to be brilliant as it cast it's light across the bare ground and the shining snow. It glares off the windows and imprints the bare, empty trees on the ground. An occasional car drives by throwing off the balance of natures power to create the impossible, taking dreams where they've never been.

The shafting light, broken by disturbances and creating shadows where it takes everything I thought I'd forgotten fresh into my mind. Because here, the way it looks outside. The light just right, the certain chill in the air is where I met him. The night air, the departing sun is where we spent our time together. And now time is passing me faster than I care to really notice. I'm living in yesterday again even though he completely walked from my life.

I fell miles and miles to the bottom and now I'm stuck here- confused, lost and hurting so much. I thought I was moving on, I thought not seeing him would help but I only miss him more, I only want him more. But why do I need anyone? I was fine before him, and I should be fine without him.

But here, I sit before my window where I've been a thousand times before. The sun is gone, only colors left on the horizon. My mind is at a loss, breathing- soothed, but thinking of his eyes, the ones that could mesmorize. I'll never be able to get over the way he looked at me, or the way he smiled when I told him I loved him. But I can't love him anymore, because he stopped loving me when the light was just right, snow didn't cover the ground, and he told me I'd be okay.