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fleshed out of love.

he mixed the raw
of morning
and tea smelt like her
hair- raving firework
exposed under the tingly taste
of sun on skin.

he measured the ounce
of happiness
in one everlasting moment
before he boned
the flesh out of canvas.

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • divebar
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    yeah. this ones actually really rich. i forgot youre almost as good a writer as you are a friend


  • tara wilson gold member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    absolutely gorgeous Esha - congrats on the gold. the imagery and color in this is wonderful. i love the smell of the tea in her hair, and measuring happiness in one moment.


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    I stumbled across this randomly and was thinking to myself, "damn...this is pretty good" and then I scrolled further down and saw a gold from one of allyce's contests which means it must be fucking good. she knows poetry. congrats on the gold I will have to read more.


  • Peteskid gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    skin has a language spoken in sensations and we would know the tint and hues, forever etched...PK


  • Allyce May gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply

    My eyesssss! OMFG, such brilliance on this here page You know what is so impressive about this? That it has so much colour, yet is does not refer directly to colour. I'm absolutely loving the raving firework, mixing the raw of morning and before he boned/the flesh out of his canvas is an ending to envy though I would consider removing "his" because I automatically read it without that the first couple of times - I don't feel it's necessary. Anyway, I love this! Meeeeow!!

     

    Thanks for entering  


  • girl shaman
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    ha i already know you won this one.
    flesh and bone... i don't know why but those words give me the chills [in a good way] and i love how you used them in this, and i've always admired your first lines, they always have this awesome impact on me and i never want to stop reading you princess! <3 thanks for being you <3

  • Annorlunda
    November 2

    Edit | Reply

    Great!

    This was my kinda writing. Creative, liberated, descriptive and vivid. The metaphors were good and it all painted a nice picture. I especially liked the reference to 'hair- raving firework', not a phrase you hear every day!


  • NurseChilly gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    oohh the pallette and the knife, paints such a picture, hot and vivid this one lil' esha... very womanly


    • e s h a.
      November 2

      Edit | Reply
      tehe you fink? well i imagine "him" doing stuff...

1 - 9 of 9