If you would dream of me tonight,
you'd drown my heart in wild delight.
Fantasies of love would scatter
errant thoughts that do not matter
and leave behind just love and light.
Renewed I'd be and shining bright,
a soul made pure and free of blight -
all fear would flee, doubts would shatter,
if you would dream.
I cling to hopes of love, despite
the fearsome fact that you just might
reject my plea - if the latter,
how must I cajole and flatter
to win your heart? (All would be right,
if you would dream)
A contest entry
- Rondeaux, s’il vous plaît by Peripatetic.
1500 points, ended November 24, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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There is a wonderful poignancy to this poem of love unrequited yet far, far from despairing. Hope would remain even if the commission is rejected, for the next question is "how must I cajole and flatter to win your heart?" There is still a grip on the difference between reality and fantasy, but hope lies in the fantasy that the object of desire might also dream and find the answer in the poet's suit.
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Good job ...
but I like the other one better.
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Oh how lovely! I love how you use the phrase "If you would dream of me tonight" and truncate it most poignantly into "If you would dream". How free and easy your rhyme!
Best wishes in the contest!
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Your poem instilled ...
Such lovely thoughts in my mind as it shared those that must have happened in yours. A longing that seems to renew itself often. A good entry for this contest as well as a poem that I will remember often. I liked it! joy -
Beautifully romantic with some good imagery in there as well. I've never tried a Rondeau, but you seem to have penned a good one.
All the best in the contest
Sue
x
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Nicely lathed.
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"Fantasies of love would scatter
errant thoughts that do not matter"
Really liked these lines. A romantic theme captured within the form.
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