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Undiscovered country

I saw the moon hanging
at pale-honey lips of twilight's sky;
a regiment of clouds already spins
new phrases with a creamy cadence;
the loomy eye on my ivory paper,
unwritten yet, whinks with desert-smiles,
until my frames melt into crystallic eruptions
like the stars smash their angelic-blue light
on the darkens green of a buzzling night.
Creation on drift still wings to worldless borders;
forgotten beaches filled with metallic sarcasm
silhouette against my backspine.
I inhale the smoke, a significant breath
to collect pieces of broken rainbows.

Author notes

Write a poem with colour.
Max 15 lines.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Mango Memories gold member
    November 26
    Edit | Reply
    i really really liked this.


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    November 17
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Breathtaking image you have penned with such details
    that leave me breathless to the beauty bestowed
    Congrats on your silver, so deserved my friend
    best wishes

    Julie


  • Phoenix Rising
    November 16
    Edit | Reply
    gold gold gold gold all the way hugggggggggggggs
    i love you bro


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my Erwin I do believe this is my most
    fav!! you have written an amazing lovely write
    you are Da Bomb!

    love and blessings

    Rend

    going into my bag of goodies !


    • Nevel
      November 7
      Edit | Reply
      ..thanks dear Rend...feel honored .... whatcha Bomb?? lol
      I must had my day....


  • Sonya-Erasmus silver member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    'I saw the moon hanging
    at pale-honey lips of twilight's sky;'
    These are such perfect lines, very romantic too.
    Congrats on the silver, althouth I thinks its worthy of a GOLD
    Hugs
    Sonya

    • Nevel
      November 5
      Edit | Reply
      thankies my dear...No, gold was simply mind-blowing....did you read her poem? I"m already surprise I got silver.

      Erwin


  • tara wilson gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    this poem has some really beautiful imagery Erwin. i love the pale-honey lips of the sky. i feel an extra color of this rainbow - which is a bit of melancholy.


    • Nevel
      November 3
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Tara, for your kind words
      not sure what this extra colour is yet lol
      Erwin


  • Allyce May gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply

    I enjoyed this immensely There is a whole composition of images and conception that work seamlessly with each other. What I most appreciate about this piece was its sui generis if you will! Lots of unique phrases such as "loomy eye", "silhouette against my backspine" and my favourittttte, "stars smash". I also noticed how effortlessly you have weaved colour into this poem - fabulous.

     

    Thank you got entering

     

     


    • Nevel
      November 3
      Edit | Reply
      um, not quiet effortlessly lol. Glad you enjoyed it, I had really fun in writing it


  • GothicFyre
    November 2
    Edit | Reply
    poom poom? lol nevel ... weird but kooky.

1 - 15 of 15