Forever is Only in a Moment ... But a Moment Lasts Forever

One year has passed
The days feeling like minutes mostly
The months simply a few hours
And the year as a whole as not much at all

Though it has been all this long it feels like it was only yesterday
It still hurts the same
I still try the same as I did back then
For something long past, long gone

I still scream in silent hours
Everything that is inside of me exploding
Memories and voices ripping through me until I can no longer sleep
No longer breath, no longer do anything but scream out
The whole experience venting through my pores
Through my open mouth and eyes

That day is playing over and over in my head
I don't remember it all, just bursts here and there
But the things I remember I can't seem to forget

I wonder if this year feels like nothing at all
Because I am still frozen in that day
Sucking up everything around it in a sort of desperation
Like I just can't let it go

Maybe I believe I can still change that day
Still do something if I just keep trying
Like how you feel if you never clean the cage
Your rabbit will never really be dead
She'll be there still

But the truth is that she's gone
She's buried in the cold hard ground
And soon she'll be joined by a much loved family dog
And nothing in the world can ever bring them back

Not smelly old droppings and moldy hay
Not food still in the dish
Not toys scattered around like they never left
Not an untouched pen
Nothing

She's dead...