I feel so afraid
to walk out the door
to hold my head high
I fear I might die
the room seems to fade
and everything spins
my hands now are shaking
please know I'm not faking
not out on a stage
in fact, no ones around
but alone in my room
it feels like a tomb
the internet my outlet
the keyboard my words
the silence just quickens
my panic it thickens
afraid of the world
so I stay far away
in my room, close the door
no sees me on the floor
I cry to myself
without any sounds
don't share this at all
only I take the fall
Inside I'm screaming
shivers down my arms
the darkness is chilling
Please know I'm wasn't willing
It was sooo long ago
this should be all gone
I shouldn't feel scared
I know people care
My parents, my friends
they don't see me as damaged
they know the me inside
not the part that has died
sometimes it all come back
as if it were yesterday
the shock and shame
changed to a horrible name
I didn't invite it,
I tried to fight it
I ran but I tripped
that was when I was stripped
I remember it clearly
like a movie in my mind
but the feeling of terror and rage
is now just a story on a page
Author notes
sexually abused as a teenager, years later - i still have phobias... someday's are better than others. Wrote this after a strange encounter on the internet... I just feel out of sorts.
...
Comments
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Nice poem...thank you for sharing.
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wow
This is well written, and so brave too !!! What an awful thing to have happened but you are so strong to be able to write about it, well done xxx
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You convey so much emotion in your poem, it is so vivid and it touched me very deeply. ..I feel your pain.
Thank you for sharing~
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