Here We Go Again

As the first sip touches my lips
The bubbily sensation takes its toll
Fills my head with sugar-coated innocence
My limbs turn from bone into heavy rubber

Smoke fills my lungs with sweet flavoured regret
Telling me what I want to hear and know
Watching as my life slowly fades to greay
Just like the loving smoke I inhale quickly

Feeling this way again after so, so long
Skipping my pills to live another day
Been sober for twelve long months or more
Living life like it was given to be again

I was reborn into something new and improved
But still something way missing from my soul
An empty shell of what I used to be inside
Only now have I realized this hollowness in me

Mising the person I once was back then
The drinking, the smoking, the dying
Everything was so easy for me once upon a time
My body craves to feel so alive, so full once more

Soon will come the cutting, my old friend
She's always last the the party of Hell
But the first to begin, although she scares me
She truly is my oldest, most loyal friend

I'm on the slide of my old life style
Depression kicks in once again and burns
Leaving me dead inside, always stuck on repeat
This time, I might not be able to ask for help.