oh, to dance
on the tail
of a comet
once again
and find love
unexpected
or a kiss
from a stranger
to smoke
to drink
the blues
the jazz
the sheets tangled
'round ankles
the sweat
the laughter
the promises
the hopes
the dreams
the demands
all broken
like china
thrown
in a fit
so i drink
and smoke
and watch a murder
of crows
eat all the worms
and caw
caw
caw
caw
caw
A contest entry
- cigarettes or birds or if inclined to do so, both by cvillelisa.
1175 points, ended November 9, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Thanks for entering. I make a habit of attempting to NOT see who enters my contests -- happened to see you... because you responded -- hi.
I'd look at leaning this down even more.
oh, to dance
on the tail
of a comet
(once again) -- out
and find love
unexpected
or a kiss
from a stranger
to smoke
to drink
the blues
the jazz
the sheets tangled
'round ankles
the sweat
the laughter
the promise -- without the "s" the promise covers so much... ya know?
(the hopes -- to cliche
the dreams
the demands)
all broken
like china
thrown
in a fit -- - somehow it thuds like an ending here --
(so) i drink
and smoke
and watch a murder
of crows
eat all the worms
and caw
caw
caw
caw
caw
Just some thoughts. I'm glad you are alive. Let's catch up eh?
xo
-
haha, wow, i dont know why, but i reallylove this..yet it makes me want to cry, idk, im not in a good state..lol...but wonderful job, great flow. and good luck for sure =)
Stephanie ♥
-
you got it mate..
i really love the repetitions here and the sound it makes
like a murderous arguement it makes that vapid sound in your brain
well done luv
me be liking this one compo!!!
-
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i'm a little rusty (and crusty) and much worse for wear, but i'm glad you liked it. :-)
-
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