The purity of this evening
Flows eternal through my soul.
Soft clouds dance above me--
Sublime, ethereal.
Sweet wind caress me
With those fingers that blow
These leaves surrounding,
Silhouetted before
The purple sky,
Darkly spinning-- my shadow grows.
I approach a tree
And kiss its leaves.
Deep verdure they glow.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I love autumn poems. makes me want to post one myself. You captured some beautiful scenes. The ending came as a surprise though. All in all quite an enjoyable poem.
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The opening lines are wonderful. I sort of stumbled through the rest. I've read it and reread it. I take it that you are talking to the wind in line 5-8 when you say 'sweet wind caress me with these fingers that blow these leaves surrounding.
I thought the use of 'surrounding' here was a bit off and too abrupt an ending for that sentence.
and then after the comma it goes into 'silhouetted before this purple sky darkly spinning--my shadow grows.(ok, that's good)
lastly verdure means green and lush so I'm not sure if that's the word you meant to use in an Autumn poem. Of course there's always Magnolia's, if you're in the south!
I get the feel of the poem even though it's worded a bit oddly. Even with the difficulty of the read, I still think you have some wonderful thoughts here. I think with a little tightening up it will be a very beautiful poem.
So basically it's that one line that gets to me, and throws the whole poem off...
"sweet wind caress me with these fingers that blow these leaves surrounding"
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There is some beautiful imagery in this piece. You can almost picture a perfectly captured autumn scene. Wonderful word choices. Overall a nicely written work.
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Very pretty
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Your descriptions are always slightly subtle, yet so delicate and detailed, much like the paling colors of an ancient royal tapestry. Beautifully done, my Friend. 
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applause ,mega work ur something else
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Thank you so very much. I really appreciate your nice comments.
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