Teeth that burn
into his gums.
The sick blackness
matches his
words;
smoke that
slips
through his lips.
Yea, smoke..
haunting,
in that one
ray
of light.
That got its way
past
the curtains
to burn my eyes.
My breathing is
uneven.
I'm
afraid.
I think I'll stay
and smell the smoke.
Just a little longer.
Just a little longer.
Author notes
B u l l e t s
"Calling out, yet fearing
Someone might hear the cry,
Destined to disappearing
Within another I. "
A contest entry
- Hearts of Darkness.. by Fr33BirdFaLLin.
700 points, ended November 5, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt Contest. PW's Allowed by n.e.o.n.
1800 points, ended November 7, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ends December 17, 448 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Any suggestions are welcome.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I found this to be very interesting. I liked the way you described the imagery in this. Nice ending to this as well. Thanks for entering and good luck to you.
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Interesting write, good job and good luck.
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For some reason, I was reminded of "Blue" by A Perfect Circle... (that's a good thing, by the way.)
I just lovedlovedloved the imagery. That, plus the format, was gorgeous. You had a typo-- it should be "burn" instead of "burns" at the line, "to burns my eyes." But otherwise, I thought this was basically perfect...
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I will listen to that song and fix the mistake. Thank you!
<3
Bullets
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Awesome, Tiffa. I like the flow and the word choice.
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