Stuck in darkened bliss

To stumble and fall into despair’s embrace one more time
To feel the cold touch of the glass that freezes you
Just to be able to remember one more time:
You are the maggot, poisoning the water we drink

Running once again in circles; vibrant is the pain inside
Don’t stop, there’s no way back, reality has gone dry
Sugar coated confessions; breathe, there’s no need to die
we all demise, just try not to relinquish here, alone in the dark

This deserved weight I’m feeling in my injured heart
Feels heavy as melted silver drops burning me deep inside
I’m deformed and I limp, I cant walk around this world anymore
Coughing, liberating my last hopes, choking in my own pride
And now I’m not even half the man I wished I could be
To make you smile, to make you feel renewed deep inside

While I walk through this mist, with no clear destination
Through this gloomy swamps, dipping my feet down into the ground
Trying not to fall into the boiling mud, I mustn’t get my wings dirty again
Enough sorrows I’m carrying, I’m punishing myself for being useless again

And after all this trip people call life, I can understand why I am to die
I’m so young and hopelessly afraid of my own eternity,
I’m already drowning in the weight of my own chaos
I don’t even want to experience what angels go through day after day
I don’t wonder anymore why aren’t we are all angels, why do we burst into flames

Since I met you, I’ve been flying around perdition with no clue of what I’m to do
Fooling my own mind, dreaming about something that would never come true
And it hurts, to get my wings cut right there before reaching paradise
I’m falling into a deep hole; I’m trapped inside my depression
All I can do is follow my rambling path and think of the remains of you and I

Holding your weak hand in these last moments,the ivory moon lights up our eyes
A silver drop falling down your face: we’re going to die forever
Trying to hold you next to me in this world, I won’t let you leave me
Can’t you see, I’m cracking down here in this cold soil, you stop breathing
I can’t handle the pain of loosing you again, in this maze of redemption

Every time I move, something gets destroyed; I’m empty and useless in life
You were the water I drank to survive, you were the flame that kept me dry
Warm, every single cold autumn night when demons kept hunting me down
I don’t fear the darkness, although its surrounding me in the deepest embrace
just because I know I’m living my last days before dying and being reborn
After this pain I’m to leave you, I wont be able to miss you again
I will be the painless, the nameless, and the never loved one
Breaking down in tears, falling down on my knees in front of misery

Shouting at the mirror, hating all what I am and will never be
How could I be so dumb, how did I fall under your enchant like that?
You left me alone, and now my rancid skin is burning away
My nerves are collapsing, my eyes slowly get blind and I can’t see around
The cinder-filled air became gloomy and heavier while I gasp for survival
I’m choking in this box, I’m chained down and I can’t even think
Because I feel pain, I feel like I’m loosing my own judgment, help me

I believed that this connection I felt between both of us was growing
But it seems it never even existed more than in my illusions
My heart starts bumping a bit less now that I realize:
I’ve been recreating my own dream, in which I could be with you forever
But I did nothing but lie to myself, covering my own eyes so I wouldn’t harm myself
Just to get damaged by self made whips of weeping leather, in a worst way
When am I going to learn, that love is not what it seems to be?
True love is as rare as a sane smile on my aged flesh

And now that I know that I was wrong, all I can do is cry here
Crawling around in the dirt, each tear I weep burns the soil
No love will ever be born in my heart again
It seems it will always end up like this, why can’t I just be happy?
You say “sorry”, that seems so easy to say, but it’s surely hard to feel
You think I’m too sensitive, I think all I did wrong is but to love you

And I’m trying to sleep again, while she wanders around my blood
Who could ever be so ruthless, like for spreading the biggest disease
Its called love: it’s what we can kill for, what makes us feel alive
I hold my breath all I can just to realize that I’m still alive
I’m afraid, there’s no one here, my illusions, my broken dreams

My life’s finally coming to an end; I can feel it inside my guts
I can’t breathe, but I can still write my cursed last words
Through these years of being alone, I’ve learned several things
Things people just can’t see, although it’s right in front of their eyes
The truth lays deep under a pit, its dark and smells like death
I guess that’s the only way to get answers for a blessed life
Death’s just the beginning of the path we push ourselves through
To learn the mysteries of life, it’s the only way to be pure and quiet
As for me, I just realized I’m writing my own decisive requiem
I can hear my destiny walking his way through this wilderness
His steps are steady, confident and deadly as a guillotine
My mouth is dry, but I’m not scared, as for now this must end
I’ll learn the mysteries of death while you blissfully live.