A better me

Dreaming that I could be someone
That I have the ability to be sweet and caring
Is just plain dumb and stupid
At least to me

This so called gift to someone else
I could hope for them to love me
And that's the truth I need to embrace
If ever that happens

And maybe one day I will learn
And maybe when I'm old I will finally know how to behave
To stop this kid in me for ever not shutting up
To kill the boy that refuse to grow

Don't you think that's better
To be silent and not hurt everyone
To only cry
I believe so much in karma that you don't even know

The guilt that eats me everyday
The shame
Please tell me that this regret inside me could be such a good thing
It's my way of begging for forgiveness

Maybe in the future I'll find myself someone that could accept me
Help me live again
Think that my smile is beautiful
That I could be worth it after all