The night meets my eyes
and collides with city
energy, lights brighter
than fireflies on country
hillsides
and I know my place
like restless housewives
toting cookie-cutter
grins, wearing fancy
laced aprons smeared
with imperfection
time ticks to the
collection of my sins.
Paid by the dividends
of forgotten life lessons.
Love me quietly, put perspective
in hesitation; feel my skin buzz from
the heavy bass drums that pound in
anticipation;
this is no longer choice, a deeper
resignation.
So, let's surrender to the whim
of reckless reconciliation.
Author notes
j f d
prompt: soul
I had fun writing this....though probably not my usual style =)
A contest entry
- The Concept of Soul by Sweet Water.
1500 points, ended November 14, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me how you feel
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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First, let me say that I loved the internal rhymes that you placed so tenderly within each line. Your vocabulary is stellar and the feel of the poem strikes a chord with me because I too am a "restless housewife". I also attend school working on earning my degree. The title is wondrous! Breathtaking as a matter of fact!
"The night meets my eyes
and collides with city
energy, lights brighter
than fireflies on country
hillsides"
Those lines leaped from the page and spoke GENIUS to me. Exquisite work poet. I wish you well in the contest.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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likin it
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This was a great pleasure to read. There were two lines in particular that stood out for me:
time ticks to the
collection of my sins.
and
this is no longer choice, a deeper
resignation.
The rest of the poem is also good. Great job and keep it up! -
Great images...word use....emotion intertwined with woven placement!
each stanza a poem unto its self..g'luck
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This is beautiful. I fell in love with this.
Good job and keep writing!!
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This is a dope poem! You really keep it to the simple things with some excellent imagery out of everyday life.
The rhyme is also my kinda rhyme, and that one word - reconciliation - that says LOTS. To me, your use of "reckless reconciliation" illustrates the compatibility struggle between one's soul and one's self.
Thank you for entering. -
Awesome! :)
This is really good,
I really liked it!
you are a really good writer...
Please keep writing,.
because you deserve it! -
this is interesting, to me i think this kind of bounces back and forth between the angst of being a housewife and the loving acceptance that has to go with it.
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