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another way

turning back
you walk away
nothing said
maybe nothing left to say
but looking back now
on that day
with the hopes
maybe there was another way
i remember it like if it was just yesterday
the day i felt my heart
cry like rain in may
and the haunt of your name
still lingers so does the pain
thinking you was my main
but at the end
it was just another game
another broken heart
another tear
but knowledge gained
still counting
a year and a day
still thinking
maybe there was another way

- genesys 11/1/09

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  • della vancastle
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    There are lines of this that are perfect, beautiful...

    'and the haunt of your name'


    'a year and a day
    still thinking
    maybe there was another way'

    these are really profound. In other places, I feel like you force your rhyme a little -
    'still lingers so does the pain
    thinking you was my main'

    to the point where it almost cheapens the poem. Still, it's a great start, and with a touch-up or two, I feel like this could be a really great work.