So soft was the touch
that quietly enveloped
the beams of tranquility
that shone from her lover
on the night of their union
So harsh was the passion
that imploded within his
eyes when she worked
her mojo on the day
they first met
So long was the message
she left under the lamp
on the bedside dresser
that read
Wistful youth captured maturity
Author notes
Prompt: crinkle
In a list
A contest entry
- Ahoy there Sailor! Quickie! by Not-The-Sun.
900 points, ended November 2, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PrewriteQuickie. by Mango Memories.
400 points, ended November 28, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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softly special.
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This is heavily filled with emotion. A very nice write. It has an outstanding flow that carries the reader smoothly through each powerful stanza, building up to that last line "Wistful youth captured maturity."
You are a very talented writer and I like the vocabulary you've used in this piece. Nice work.
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i love your style of writing here. it has such true emotion in every line. fantastic job, you should have been awarded with a higher trophy. keep on continuing to write!
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I love the artistic poetic style you focused on here with the way you wrote these lines:
So soft was the touch,
So harsh was the passion,
So long was the message
I also particulary liked " imploded within his
eyes" and the third stanza. thank you for entering : )
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to be honest by the time the prompt came up I was so tired I was at a loss at what to write but didn't want to be dq'd from further contests. so I am shocked I got a HM.. Thanks ever so much.
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How I envy the modern phrase and the ease with which, like this are conformed. Lovely piece, Mojo, I think I'll add one day.
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I love this.
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Wow, The ending really ties everything together perfectly! Great work, good luck!
x
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what a wonderful take on the prompt... bravo, best of luck in the contest
Sean
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