Ghost Of Past III (Holloween)

Halloween has a way of bringing all the spirits out
no one around me probably know what I'm talking about,

but beyond the shadow of a doubt
I know that it's true
I'm reminded once again of all the things that I've been through.

Now I finally open up my eyes
I chose no more to be bled by their disguise
hypnotized by that last ray of light
for tonight I know I have no control
over the black hole
in their soul
these lessons have taken toll.

Trying so hard not to wallow
but I can no longer follow
when I see my reflection
and the world's rejection
in the mirror much clearer
I've become numb and hollow.
I still remain stronger
but I can no longer deny
the world's fashion
for lack of compassion
I watch as the one thing I need
starts to bleed and die
and there's no reason why,
when they're so satisfied with their pretentious pride
with no one to confide in
I begin to find in my mind
that there's no reason to try.

Callused by malice
without hesitation
I chose manipulation
when they chained me to my pain
with no stipulation
ecstatic to be so enigmatic
but I'm still so diplomatic
and I guess you'll never know
the true blood that will flow
through my being
blinded by distractions that you're seeing
and I don't try
to hide what's inside.
There is nothing to conceal
you don't how I feel
because your ignorant heart
would never dare to care
don't even try to compare me
to your worse nightmare
because when the sun sets
in intensity's cloud of dismay
I'm not proud of this day
but my breathing and my temper seething
let's me know
that I'm not even half way there.

No longer haunted
by the cost of the things I've lost
and the fake bliss they always flaunted
because it just isn't worth
my time to inherit the fortune
of diseased parasites
plaguing Earth.
I can never forget
the gift that she gave me,
but no one can save me
from the agonizing reality
of our fatal normality
and wasted mortality
still fighting wars we've fought before
I take a deep breath
remember her death
look at the puzzled faces
then I close the door.