The thing I think I need

Everything has gone down
Nothing matters anymore
I break down
I feel like so bad a feeling I can not ignore
Oh no
I think I'm heading down the same road
I don't know why
I can't go on in this same numb mode
I wish I could cry
I want to feel again
Besides pain in my legs arms
I want to be free again
And not have to cause myself any harm
I'm not doing well
I feel like hell
My tears keep falling
My addiction keeps calling
I don't want to take another drink
I wish I could just sit down
To be calm and think
I take another shot I'm acting like a clown
I just need a little more
So I can feel
Like I'm not such a bore
Nothing feels real
The alcohol burns
As it runs down my throat
My stomach churns
Everything feels so remote
Oh no
I think I'm heading down the same road
I don't know why
I can't go on in this same numb mode
I wish I could cry
I want to feel again
Besides pain in my legs arms
I want to be free again
And not have to cause myself any harm
I'm not doing well
I feel like hell
My tears keep falling
My addiction keeps calling
I can't control myself
Everything is just floating by
Everyone else is enjoying themselves
I'm drunk out of my mind feeling like I'm gonna die
Once again I pass out
Tonight I had to much
That's no doubt
But the alcohol feels like my only crutch
Dad is gone
Mom is never home
Everything feels so wrong
I'm all on my own
Oh no
I think I'm heading down the same road
I don't know why
I can't go on in this same numb mode
I wish I could cry
I want to feel again
Besides pain in my legs arms
I want to be free again
And not have to cause myself any harm
I'm not doing well
I feel like hell
My tears keep falling
My addiction keeps calling
I can't escape myself
No matter how I try
I hate this hell
I want to die
Nobody ever sees
My other side
If they did they would be displeased
I try so hard to be so nice I always try to abide
The rules
And fake it all
The world seems to cruel
I can feel myself fall
Oh no
I think I'm heading down the same road
I don't know why
I can't go on in this same numb mode
I wish I could cry
I want to feel again
Besides pain in my legs arms
I want to be free again
And not have to cause myself any harm
I'm not doing well
I feel like hell
My tears keep falling
My addiction keeps calling
It's like a ringing in my ear
It's my number one fear
I can't stop
I see the bottle I want to drop
I hear it call my name
Anymore I'm just so lame
I'm stronger than this
I can resist this bliss
The wars wage inside me
I wish I could hide see
The monster comes out
I'm about
To go for it again
It seems like my only friend
Deep down I know it's wrong
I've known this all along
Now I just want to quit
I'm sick of this shit
I throw it on the floor
I'm not ruining myself anymore
I can go down a different road
This time I know why
I'm leaving this numb mode
Behind now I don't want to die
I start to feel again
I'm through causing myself harm
I know I can do well
Once I escape this hell
A knew life is calling
Now it's my addiction that's falling

It's time to give it up

So i can live life up