True likeness of nature's spirit
appeared from hell's fiery pit.
Rose among visions within midnight's dream;
gleam of mist circled sin.
Rising up in dawns waking hour;
truth stirs a soul to empower.
In daylight, what's revealed, cannot hide;
what self had concealed.
Author notes
Based on: Unveiled by GotLilt
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5875875
Byr a thoddaid: (bir a thod-deyed):
This form consists of any number of quatrain stanzas. Each stanza combines one couplet of eight syllable lines a. a. and one couplet where the first line has ten syllables and the second line has six syllables, This couplet is called a toddaid byr. There is no set order for the couplets. In the ten syllable line the main rhyme b. b. is found before the end of the line and the last syllable of that line links the six syllable line by alliteration, assonance or secondary rhyme. Here is the form layout for either variation.
x x x x x x x a
x x x x x x x a
x x x x x x b x x c.
x c x x x b
or
x x x x x x d x x e.
x e x x x d
x x x x x x x f
x x x x x x x f
A contest entry
- Unusual Form Round 3 by Little Eagle.
600 points, ended November 30, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
All comments are welcome!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Thank you for your entry
Well done. You have penned a very lovely poem. It fits well with the prompt as well.
The form was done well, you maintained the rhyme scheme and the syllable count was consistent throughout. Please see my rubric below for further details.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
TammyCriteria
20-18
Exceptional
17-14
Innovative
13-10
Commendable
9-6
Competent
5-1
Emerging
Score
Prompt Development
Expresses and develops meaningful and original perspective on prompt
Expressive and developed treatment of the prompt
Adequate focus and development
Some focus on prompt but lacks development
Unfocused and unclear
20
Organization
Form of poem appropriately and powerfully addresses the subject , each line focuses on prompt
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject focus maintained throughout
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
Form is poorly constructed, focus is not maintained throughout
20
Poetic Language & Imagery
Sensory details and figurative language create vivid images that contribute significantly to the meaning of the poem; sound devices such as rhyme, alliteration, or onomatopoeia are used effectively to contribute to the meaning of the poem
Sensory details, figurative languages and sound devices contribute to the meaning of the poem
Sensory details, figurative language and sound devices may be overused, underused or inappropriate to the topic
Confusing or inappropriate use of sensory details, figurative language or sound devices
No use of sensory details, figurative language or sound devices
18
Use of Language
Word choice is vivid and exact throughout; grammar, mechanics and usage are correct, enhancing the thoughts and images
Precise word choice; no error in grammar, spelling and mechanics
Word choice occasionally vague, repetitive or imprecise; few errors in grammar, mechanics or usage
Word choices tend to be vague, repetitive or imprecise;
Consistently difficult to understand due to errors in grammar, mechanics and usage
18
Overall Impact
Poem captivates and inspires reader; is an excellent representation of the prompt/form
Poem attracts reader’s attention; is a good representation of the prompt/form
Poem is adequate and provides a reasonable representation of the prompt/form
Poem lacks inspiration
Poem fails to inspire
20
Total
96/100
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Love the choice of poem and what you have created from it!
Nicely done,
Best wishes,
K
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thanks!
your reading and comments are most appreciated!
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this is confusing.. what do the letters stand for?
Tell me!!
waiting to hear...
-sweets
x
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The letters a,b,c,d,e, and f represent the rhyme sound placement within the form x represents the other syllables of each line
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