Humidity on the air,
Not a sound is made,
Yet all are aware,
That we are breathless
Danger in every breath,
Til' of course,
None are left,
And we stand breathless.
Dark sky overhead,
All the birds are silenced,
The evening air is dead,
Leaving us all breathless
The world stops turning,
Everyone stops moving,
No one is returning,
For we are breathless.
Boom!
A clap of thunder,
A boulder sent to loom,
Over all the breathless.
Just when we cant take it,
A single second more,
Out the heavens let it,
And it starts to pour.
Author notes
it about that moment rght before a big storm
A contest entry
- Junk Poetry. by girl shaman.
5500 points, ended November 16, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very nice! i like the drama that you portrayed in this it was really smooth and fantastic. thank you for entering
sorry i couldn't give you a proper critique it's just there really isn't much wrong with this and i don't have any real suggestions. but thank you for the effort!
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Breathless
I really enjoyed reading this poem, its truly breathless. It doesnt stink, i don't know what your on about.
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thanks someone else told me that, i changed it
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Nice job! The frozen effect really added to this peice and the ending wrapped it all up. Awesome Job!
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thankth youth
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I love it honey
Yes indeed you have captured the very eccense of the stillness before a stornm like no other ever has .I say Bravo to this write
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thank you
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