There's An Iguana In My Backpack

I have a new iguana named Essenger, and he is green!
He is the sweetest lizard I've ever held or seen!
His tail is kinda bent and he's missing a toe;
Why that is, I honestly don't know.
He may not be physically perfect, but he's still freakin' cool!
Sometimes, I'll sigh to him, "I wish I could take ya to school!"

I guess Essenger listens and understands what human words mean,
Because, the other day in school, he helped create quite a scene.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
History class had just started, and as I took my seat,
I placed my backpack on the ground near my feet.
In a bored voice, the professor instructed us
To get out our binders, and to do it without fuss.
I rolled my eyes, sighed and unzipped my backpack,
And what I found inside almost gave me a heart attack!

Essenger stared at me as he climbed over my notebook;
Then he shot me a "What? You DID said I could come" look.
"Oh my god!" I snapped, "what are you doing here, Ess?"
I ACTUALLY expected him to answer me; talk about stress!
Then, I heard my professor ask, "Is there a problem, Holly?"
"No, sir," I replied with a smile to mask my folly.

"Good," the professor answered as he turned and faced the overhead;
Suddenly, the person beside me let out the scream I had dread.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S A SNAKE! DON'T LET IT TOUCH ME!"
She screeched as she spilled her hot coffee.

The coffee burned the back of the next guy over in the next row.
He yelled, "The snake's biting me! Help!" as he got to his toes.

Suddenly, from every jock to each geek;
The entire class started to freak.
There was a stampede to the door
As even more drinks spilled onto the floor.

One of my classmates must have been in a hurry and tripped,
Because, suddenly, one of the wall maps was being ripped.
One of my classmates felt the need to shout, "SNAKE! RUN!"
As I turned to Essenger and sarcastically muttered, "that was fun."

We looked around the room, and I couldn't believe what I saw;
The room before us looked nothing like the one an hour ago at all!

Desks were thrown in ways I thought I'd never see in my years;
Pencils were stuck in all the posters; used as if they were spears!
I looked up and saw some textbooks attached to the ceiling tile;
I swear they weren't there before the class when hostile.

I marveled at my classmates because, though their retreat was short,
One of them managed to sneak into a corner and make a fort!
The fort was complete with a draw bridge and a silver moat;
The thing was constructed from paper, staples and a coat.

Now, it couldv'e been something or nothing at all,
But I could have sworn the window started on the other wall!

Essenger and I just stared at each other, not knowing what to do.
I leaned down beside him and whispered, "by the way, I blame you."
"So, Holly," A voice said behind me that made my heart skip a beat,
"Who is your little friend that made my entire class retreat?"
I turned and faced the professor, whom had his eyebrow raised;
He didn't seem angry, which made me feel amazed.
"His name is Essenger," I answered, barely making a sound,
"And, I didn't know he was here until I put my backpack down."

The professor extended his hand and took Essenger from mine,
And smiled wide as he ran a finger down Ess' scaly spine.
"I wish you had just confessed he was here," the professor said,
"You didn't have to hide him; you could've shown him off instead!"

"Wait a moment!" I gasped, "are you trying to tell me,
That if I said I wanted to show him off, you would've agreed?"
"Yeah," the professor answered with a smile and a shrug,
"We could've even gone outside to get him a tasty bug."
"You mean, this, all this, was avoidable?" I asked, dumbfound.
"Yep," he answered, "by the way, how does a twenty page essay sound?"
"A twenty page essay?" I asked, shocked, "over what?"
"Over what happened," he answered as he left the room with a strut.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a new iguana named Essenger, and he's brilliantly green;
And, he's the most destructive lizard I've ever held or seen!