Haunting is that face as
she stumbles through my mind
Pelted by life on the rocks
treating so unkind
Who wears the face behind the mask
what story do they tell
Is she too a shadowed ghost
living out this Hell
A carnage of humanity
pushed and battered to retreat
Sorrow’s cried her as a tear
dripping in defeat
Laid to rest young weary bones
ashen heart and soul
As cruelty sent her to a death
far beyond control
So solemn is the epitaph
written on her grave
A lovely heart now broken
to pity she’s a slave
Author notes
http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y297/woodiebluez/?action=view¤t=shadowwomen1.jpg
A contest entry
- the shadow women by rrw.
1600 points, ended November 14, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow i really like this.
Good luck in the contest.
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This is exactly what I have been searching for to describe myself. An amazing stunning write poet!
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I love the feel of this and how you handled the phrasing. This could have been a cliche, but your unique twisting of phrases make it very specific and personal.
I also like how you used the ghost like quality of the prompts skin tone in the piece. In many ways this sounds like a rather bitter epitaph which gives the poem a very sharp edge.Here's a few of the phrases that I really love:
Is she too a shadowed ghost
living out this Hell...Sorrow’s cried her as a tear
dripping in defeat...
A lovely heart now broken
to pity she’s a slave...
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Now this tells a tale of the lady and her soul, you my honey, know how to bring your words together to make the picture come to life. Best of luck with this, my dear, as once again your flow and rhyme does great under your fingertips.
All my love, husband of mine.
Joann
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You have taken the picture prompt challenge and written a expressive ominous write of the lady behind the mask...Excellent in flow and rhyme as well...All the best in the contest!
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