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Transmigration


 


her body does verbs among me
there are the wet thumbs of Gods long dead flung down
cut away from arms that held her young sweet once ago(s)
wrap me like cow flesh drying closing  

I try to swim
a copper stinking sea

but when she withdraws her barbed wire surprises
I am released through bright slashed heavens' stars 

this weightless stew extrudes slavery smoke curled pink
between her downward bound freedom

massive food howls in orchards and sunlit clouds 
and I pray for rising seas I pray for rising tides I pray the moon remember 

the sun 

I pray the winds remember me when she runs in the meadows,
so still 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

prompt #2

http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y297/woodiebluez/?action=view¤t=scar2.jpg

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • rrw gold member
    November 3

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    This is a style that I have run into a few times around the Internet. Economic, cutting away at the fat of the narrative to give the reader an extraordinary lean set of related images. All unique but at the same time extremely universal. For me, the "meaning" of the piece lies in the rhythm, the sound it creates. Not blurred but very precise.
    I can see the elements of the prompt in it. I also see the twisted, tortured physical and mental state of the character. This is sweet writing. The structure is well thought out. The wording extremely specific.


  • Allyce May gold member
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    Actually, do you mind if I quote the first two lines on my page? I'll include a link to this.


  • Allyce May gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is, in a word, incredible. Never know what to say to you when I read your work, so I'll give up trying and shall be content to just read, jaw-dropped but figuratively close-mouthed.


  • michael thomas gold member
    November 1
    Edit | Reply
    A reaching far for metaphor done superbly.


  • Night Hope gold member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply

    This poem is most certainly a tour de force, an incredible smorgasbord of sight, sound and sensation. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie.



1 - 5 of 5