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Killing Distance

Running towards your form, only to grab smoke..
Because you're gone.

Far aways from arms length, but not minds picture.
I see you so perfectly..

I can etch in my memory every detail of your skin..
but my hands can't caress it..

I can mimic your voice in my mind so well
but my ears can't hear it up close..

I can imagine every touch, every thought, every piece of you, and it breaks me..
brings me to my knees almost in pain..

The only place I'm close to you, is in my deep sleep pictures..
I feel everything I know.. but I can't get to you in touch.

I have to hold back pure sorrow when we speak.. because god knows you upset can push me over that edge I'm just a few feet from.

I'm almost in a state of shock.. my mind can't wrap it's poor self around not having you..
it has to constantly stay busy so it won't dwell on you and slip into a low it will never come up from.

It's the claws you have in my heart.. that you put there when we met... the distance is not enough to pull them out.. but yank at them to put my core in such excruciating pain, it won't kill me, but will drive me to a state the borderlines hysteria.

I must confess this distance is quite a war to fight. But I'll fight it for you.. and I will win..
because no distance demon will break what I have..
They can't remove those claws..

I will make it with battle scars to show.. but I will show them with pride..

I will kill this distance and go back to you, the one I know so well..


I love you..

Author notes

Ok.. well then..
You wanted raw emotion and you got just that.. I'm basicaly just zoned out for a moment and that is what came out. You can't get much more raw.. I miss my love with all I have inside of me. I'm in tears just thinking about it.. Anyway.. I don't expect good feedback on this.. it dosn't have the best flow and is extreamly chopy and kind of hard to follow.. I just wanted you to know I know this pain all to well.

Thanks for giving me a chance to get it all out..
~Serenity

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Palas Kumar Ray
    November 9
    Edit | Reply
    Distances are less seen and more realized.Killing distance is the battle half own.


  • SaraTalon
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    "it dosn't have the best flow and is extreamly chopy and kind of hard to follow"

    On the contrary, I thought it flowed exactly how it should. The form made it more REAL. I thought this was a very powerful poem that gripped me in a way that felt like distance was clawing at MY heart. And that's what good poetry is all about: making the reader feel what the poet felt.


  • Shadow Anonymised gold member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    you are gone...
    away from...
    its poor self...
    it is the claws?
    that borderlines...

    this is exactly what i was after. raw emotions about the distance itself. reading it, i felt like it was written for me and my fiancee - i think this means what you have here is universal.

    fantastic piece.

    • Serenity-words
      November 2
      Edit | Reply
      Well, I'm glad I got the opposite response I was expcting on this. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and posting a contest that would let me get it all out. I actualy felt a lot better after I wrote it
      So thank you

      ~Serenity-words


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    Well..the love has always played a game with the hearts of the lovers..and one can imagine the pain you are feeling here in the words..well described poetry ...thanks for sharing...

1 - 7 of 7