Why does life seem to come so fast?
Watch as tomorrow turns into the past
I hand you this poem just to say
I really like you, anyway
I see your face and I feel warm
Thoughts in my mind seem to swarm
Your eyes are so stunning
They dig a trench in me
Breaking me down
I can hardly see
For love is a killer
Murdering our minds
Tearing apart at whatever it finds
Love is a killer
The worst of them all
And I am a victim
Trying to break down the wall
By giving you this poem
The wall couldn’t maintain
Now all that’s left
Are the crumbled remains
As I hand you this and walk away
I’m really not sure what to say
Like I said, time flies away
Next thing you know, it’s the end of the day
Every time I see your face
I always feel so out of place
When I try to speak to you
My mouth does not know what to do
I tell it to move and to speak to you
But my lips are shut together like glue
So I give you this poem
From my hand to yours
As love eats me from my core
Finally, this poem shall end
For life is true, so don’t pretend
Do you think this is a good love/sadness poem
Comments
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I like this one, it's finally a poem I can feel the emotion in easily.
Though, just to give some constructive criticism. Like I do, it feels like you try to make things rhyme while the words used are a bit out of place.
''I hand you this poem just to say
I really like you, anyway''
Anyway? O.O
Next to that
great job on the poem although I'd love to see some more rhyming yet, and maybe ABAB - ABCBCA structures.
Cheers, Joshua =) good job!
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Ah..your lips are shut toghether like glue..and the pain itself is glue and one can't manage the show to prolong when you are out from the love..a heartfelt story you brought..well said...
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