They'll not see her there, the waiting flower
a spider yearning for the biting,
her lips adorned with the poison of the ivy.
Now glower out her eyes from the silence
awaiting something to spy upon
and bring to a new realm of venom play.
Her face an ireful mirage through the jungle
seems to wait with every second
for some new found object of her wrathful love.
Author notes
Not my best work. I thought I could do something good but it didn't quite turn out as planned.
Picture prompt from : http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y297/woodiebluez/?action=view¤t=shadowwoman4.jpg
A contest entry
- the shadow women by rrw.
1600 points, ended November 14, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow that floors me! I love how you captured this famine spider like creature that just waits among the plaints for you to come around! The whole idea of this being the only black and white pic is translated very well in this concise poem.
Lots of beautifully evil, dangerous phrases:a spider yearning for the biting...
for some new found object of her wrathful love...
I also love the seductive nature of the character... a pleasure to be with her... even if it means death. You write a lot in so few words. Always full and complete. Great job!
If I can make one tiny suggestion: with the poison of the ivy.
You might consider making it: her lips adorned with poison of the ivy.
Without the extra the you hit the nature stress of each word in the phrase. But jus a thought. It works just fine the way it is.
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