I gots a bad...bad feelin'
it's like I'm goin' way way down
she won't talk to me no mo'
the booze can't pick me up again
I gots midnight dreams
don't know what I'm gonna do
that's what I mean
she gots skinny legs and all
I don't care
tiny butt meant for kissin'
"pennys from heaven"
everyday I gots the blues
it creeps in on you
sneeks up on your ass
holds you like a lousy bitch
that can't get enough
she ripped me ripe
just when I thought
I was home
quicksand sucken' on you
she gots her teeth in me
a great white in the wave
shakin' and rippin'
blood spirtin' all over
...Jesus
I gots a bad...bad feelin'
and I'm goin' way way down
where skunks don't never go
I don't wants to eat nothin'
got no taste for it
can't hardly choke down
the cheap-ass whisky
it's rank and fowl
when the ho's talk their shit
it makes me want to puke
my mother-fuckin'-guts-out
ain't nothin' right
Jesus help me...
I'm way down low
my momma is dead and long gone
and my daddy...
is shakin' the dice
at the juke joint
just like when he was a young man
...ahhh
I gots a bad...BAD feelin'
it's like I'm goin' way way down
where night-crawlers kiss
I feels so low
she bought me a fine suit
big blush lapels
shiny and crisp
a button carnation
damp and standin' tall
"I wants my man to be fine"
she says:
"when he's on the track he can wear
them cheap-ass rags
but when he's at the pay-window with ME
I wants him sparklin'
'cause he's my mane"
I don't know why I feels so low
maybe it's 'cause
when she wraps those squid arms around me
stickin'on my back
...leavin' big reds
makin' me junkie paralyzed
and I start to think:
I got's a bad bad feelin'
and I'm goin' Way Way down
...there's no way out
Author notes
Ya, it's a blues song alright...I wish someone would cap some music on it and send it straight away. -c
A contest entry
- Pick and choose by DeathlyAngel.
400 points, ended December 3, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Really good work, i like it.
Good luck in my contest
-
blues,
stay away from me...................
blues,
why don't ya let me be...............
time goes by.....................
still I can't be free....
Sing it ,
i got some nice minor chords to go with this brother...
ya let let it all go here.......
Great job!
Liam
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"she bought me a fine suit
big blush lapels
shiny and crisp
a button carnation
damp and standin' tall"
I can see you all pressed and proper. What!? You don't like the snapshot? LOL Yeah! The blues is the blues no bout a doubt it. You got it and needed to get rid of it so, you wrote it out in great fashion here for all of us to enjoy.
Loved it!
Always ♥
Renee
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Blues song alright! But your low down feeling made me feel good while I was reading this... Brilliant work poet!
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I'm hearing this sung Tom Waits style, gravel voice and pain. You get the blues and lay them down well.
Best of luck in the contest.
-
I adore music, but alas, I'm no musician. I would love to be able to give this the tune it so much deserves. I can imagine the atmosphere in the bar, smell the smoke and cheap whiskey and hear a deep voice half singing, half speaking your words.
Another excellent case of the blues from you, the last three lines sum up the entire poem.
All the best in the contest
Sue
x
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Loving this poem...
Like the bit about the Shark getting you awesome metaphors there!!
I know what it feels like when Your in so much inner turmoil that you cannot eat.. the pain is aggonising isnt it?
Aw I wish I was music minded to give it a go... would be a master piece!!! x Great write DD xx
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You want me to start? Okay:
"Whispered Soul"
"Why you got to make me feel this way?
Can’t you see Baby
All I wanna do is love you?
Be gentle with me
I Am not a Man,
Though my strength
Can at times Amaze Thee."
There - there's my contribution. Now go on add to it!
I'm sure you'll get just the right rhythms/grooves/sounds for your piece!
ya All~Ways,
~ Jan ~
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