I feel hollow in my beating core
the circle of cinder has been drawn
and as I lay over the rests of burning soil
my body rests, growls I hear by my side
Infinity became too long for me
I shut all doors that entangle my fate
there's always a way out of this tragic labyrinth
shining stars fade as I sigh in awing despair.
Try and consider whats left for you and I
hold my hand as my eyes glitter in silver scars
with the amber moon as my witness I say farewell
I've escaped at last from the gripping jaws of time.
Author notes
"We couldn't imagine the emptiness of a creature who put a razor to her wrists and opened her veins, the emptiness and the calm."
"The Virgin Suicides" by Jeffrey Eugenides
My native language is Spanish, so I apologize for any kind of error or glitch or whatever that might be found in this poem
A contest entry
- boats in the dark. by bird-mad girl.
1750 points, ended November 12, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
your spelling is fine :] my frist langauge is English and I always butcher it through spelling
I thought you had some really lovely images in this piece. Things made me feel completely isolated and icy in my chest. I felt cold in such a lonely way. Like at night when it gets cold and even though you're in bed with somone, you still freeze. This piece was really heavy with that sense of being apart of something but in a glass cage so you're never really apart of it.
However, the ending a bit disappointing. I've already come across a poem using a "goodbye" at the end. I think this would be a lot stronger without the farewell because it's something that's been done a million times before.
Thank you for entering.
Adding your comment:
