Giving it all away

Watch me fly away from here
So far away and yet so near
The clouds' teardrops hit my face
Covering up my own disgrace
Against my will I feel no pain;
No anger, love, not even shame.
Cursed to watch my loved ones die,
Leaving those I care about behind.
I feel as though I've lived a thousand years,
But even with that time I haven't conquered my fears.
In my face evil laughs and sneers
Thinking I'm weak if I show my tears.
But I am just a simple girl,
Never given the chance to have the world.
Laughed at and mocked, it seemingly never ends;
As I bow to the fact that I've committed sins.
My past has haunted me for years
Whispered regrets and silent tears
I've tried so hard to let go of my past
And tear off my tear-streaked mask
But then some memory decides to become real
It's all I can do to refuse to feel
These feelings only get in the way
I'd give them up even for just a day.
I've been trapped in this body for too many years
Emotions trapped inside often bring me to tears
My heart is being pulled in too many places
While my mind is tricked into loving too many faces
I question whether or not my heart can last
As my life spins out of control too fast
I watch as thing twirl around me
Laughing at me, They won't let me be
My past shouldn't hold me back forever
If I really tried, I COULD do better
And for the first time in my pathetic life
I let go of the pain, let go of the strife
Forget about the little things
Stand up and spread my wings
Silver,white, black, and grey
With a smile I will finally be on my way.