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my vampire

my palms are sweating
my heart is pounding in my chest
i can feel my cheeks burning
for this woman my entire body is yearning

her smile lights my soul

sends a shiver down my spine,

 

her beauty intoxicates me

paralyses my inhibitions

and

takes away my self control

 

the way her red hair draips on her breasts

and her green eyes burn deep into mine

 

my entire body is a live wire when she touches me

her skin velvet soft

she caresses my neck with her tongue,

then throwing me to the floor,

she stands above me

i feel like a deer caught in the headlights

frightened but curious,

she kneels beside me

licking her lips,

 

her grace stuns me as she places my erect throbbing penis

slowly into her warm moist flower,

as she grinds her breasts bounce to her rhythem

her hair now draiping over my bare chest

she moans "ohhh agggh mmm"

 

my hands are all over her naked frame

exploring her every curve,

then with eagerness her tongues in my mouth

filling it with a scent so sweet

my hand intwined in her hair

we kissed passionatly

but slowley she relised her lips from mine

placing them at my neck

"marry me for an eternity" she whispers

"i will" i was never more sure of my words

untill her teeth sunk into my neck

 

but she kept to her vow

we pledged our love under the nights sky

and together forever there we shall lie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

i couldnt get spell check to work so if there are any spelling mistakes i would be greatful if you could let me know, thank you

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • spiritual wolf
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    wow..that was really good. i loved the twist you put on the end. perfect write


  • spideracer gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    First I'll go through all the misspelt words, ''draips'' = drapes, ''throbing'' = throbbing, ''rythem'' = rhythm, ''draiping''' = draping, ''intwined'' = entwined, ''passionatly'' = passionately, ''slowley'' = slowly and ''relised'' = realized. Also I think this line should be ''her smile lights my soul'' or even ''her smile lights up my soul. Apart from all those typos, your poem is well written. A nice touch of erotic favour, awesome imagery of the night one who entices her victim. I like how you wrote it leaving the reader not knowing she is a vampire until the end. It was a good read and so thanks for sharing, also good luck in the contest.


  • Sector-Hunter silver member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    This was so very hot how it set up to such a romantice end. Again had me really hot I love vamp poems like this. I am glad that you enjoy my work becasue this had me ready to play. Oh and the spell check thing only one and it is not spelled wrong just a two words can be made into on. The word Into in stanza 3 but that is it. Im still licking my lips SH


  • meic
    November 2
    Edit | Reply
    An interesting take on the subject, suitably erotic. Great stuff!
    Mike


  • Inakanu
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    omg this is so good i love the emotion and the way this is written well done

1 - 6 of 6